I Don't Mind Being 65, But Nobody

Modesty Is Not One Of My Virtues.

When I Read Dickens For The First Time, I Thought He Was Jewish, Because He Wrote About Oppression And Bigotry, All The Things That My Father Talked About.

When I Was In The Hospital They Gave Me Apple Juice Every Morning, Even After I Told Them I Didn't Like It. I Had To Get Even. One Morning, I Poured The Apple Juice Into The Specimen Tube. The Nurse Held It Up And Said, 'it's A Little Cloudy.' I Took The Tube From Her And Said, 'let Me Run It Through Again,' And Drank It. The Nurse Fainted.

Comedy Is An Amazing Calling. Once You Get That First Laugh, It's Hard To Turn Away. Then, Of Course, You're Hooked And You Have To Learn How To Survive In The Business.

If You Keep Yourself Alive And Current, Funny Is Funny.