I Don't Think I Am Particularly Funny.

I'd Just Find A Story In Canada And Come And Do It. Combine Harvester Banger - Actually I've Done That: Banger Racing Up In Red Deer [in Alberta, For His 1998 Doc Series Extreme Machines].

When I Was 16, I Wanted To Look Like Lord Byron. It's Not Really A Haircut So Much As A Hair-not-cut, But I've Never Changed It. It's A Bit Byron, A Bit Don Juan Demarco And Other Things That I Aspire To Be.

Hollywood Movies Are Designed For 15-year-old Youths From North Dakota Who, Intellectually Speaking, Are On Equal Terms With A British Zoo Animal.

Like Every Big Organisation These Days, The Bbc Is Obsessed With The Wellbeing Of Those Who Set Foot On Its Premises. Studios Must Display Warning Notices If There Is Real Glass On The Set, And The Other Day I Was Presented With A Booklet Explaining How To Use A Door. I Am Not Kidding.

They Are By Far The Worst Drivers. They Are Spiteful, Dithering, Old And In The Way. They Should Have Their Licences Taken Away.