I Don't Want Want To Go To

I Sing Seriously To My Mom On The Phone. To Put Her To Sleep, I Have To Sing 'maria' From West Side Story. When I Hear Her Snoring, I Hang Up.

Chemistry Can Be A Good And Bad Thing. Chemistry Is Good When You Make Love With It. Chemistry Is Bad When You Make Crack With It.

A Lot Of Critics Object To What I Do, But I Got Into Comedy To Make People Laugh, And I've Always Worked Hard.

I'm Not Great At Bedtime Stories. Bedtime Stories Are Supposed To Put The Kid To Sleep. My Kid Gets Riled Up And Then My Wife Has To Come In And Go, 'all Right! Get Out Of The Room.'

In One Day, I Have Times Where I'm Feeling Great, I Feel Like I Love My Life, And Then 2:30 Rolls Around And I'm The Angriest Man Alive. My Wife Sees It.