I Drink Too Much, Way Too Much;

We Were Poor. We Were So Poor, In My Neighborhood The Rainbow Was In Black-and-white.

I'd Like To Get Some New Clothes, But I Can't Find A Big And Short Store.

My Wife Has To Be The Worst Cook. I've Got The Only Dog Who Begs For Alka-seltzer.

My Mother Had Morning Sickness After I Was Born.

I Walked In On My Wife And The Milkman, The First Thing She Says Is "don't Tell The Butcher"!