My Dog Learned How To Beg By

I Once Went Out With This Girl, She Was No Bargain Either, She Showed Up With Pigtails Under Her Arms.

If Every Man Was As True To His Country As He Was To His Wife, We'd Be In A Lot Of Trouble.

I've Never Been Lucky. The Day My Ship Came In, I Was At The Airport.

When We Got Married, The First Thing My Wife Did Was Put Everything Under Both Names - Hers And Her Mother's.

You Know You're Ugly When You Go To The Proctologist And He Sticks His Finger In Your Mouth.