My Dog Learned How To Beg By

Boy What A Hotel That Was, Why They Stole My Towel.

We Lived In A Neighborhood That Was Too Rich For Us. When I Was Young, I Had To Deliver Groceries To The Homes Of The Kids I Went To School With. I Had To Go To The Back Doors To Make The Deliveries. It Was Embarrassing. That Was One Thing Out Of A Hundred.

I'm A Bad Lover. Once I Caught A Peeping Tom Booing Me.

In High School, When I Played Football I Got No Respect. I Shared A Locker With A Mop.

My Wife Isn't Very Bright. The Other Day She Was At The Store, And Just As She Was Heading For Our Car, Someone Stole It! I Said, "did You See The Guy That Did It?" She Said, "no, But I Got The License Plate."