I Drink With Impunity...or Anyone Else Who

Variant: I Was Driven To Drink By A Woman. I Am Forever Grateful, Yet I Never Had The Good Manners To Thank Her.

I Always Made Up My Own Acts; Built Them Out Of My Knowledge And Observation Of Real Life. I'd Had Wonderful Opportunities To Study People; And Every Time I Went Out On The Stage I Tried To Show The Audience Some Bit Of True Human Nature.

Ain't Fit For Man Nor Beast

The Funniest Thing About Comedy Is That You Never Know Why People Laugh. I Know What Makes Them Laugh But Trying To Get Your Hands On The Why Of It Is Like Trying To Pick An Eel Out Of A Tub Of Water.

I Ad Lib Most Of My Dialogue. If I Did Remember My Lines, It Would Be Too Bad For Me.