I Found Out That If You Made

A Comedian Sees The World Bent. I'm Tangent To The Circle.

Your Financial Cost Can Best Be Figured Out When You Realize That If You Were To Devote The Same Time And Energy To Business Instead Of Gold, You Would Be A Millionaire In Approximately Six Weeks.

If It's Dirty, It's Not Funny, But If It's Funny, It's Not Dirty.

Ya Know, If You Treat Every Comic The Way You Treated Me Tonight, You Would Never See A Bad Show.

My Wife Said To Me, "i Want To Be Cremated." I Said, "how About Tuesday?"