I Go Around The Country And Do

I Used To Buy Lottery Tickets Every Week Until I Realised You Could Watch It On Tv For Nothing.

I'm Obsessed With Tv. How Wrong Our Parents Were When They Said We Should Only Watch An Hour A Day. Stop Wasting Your Time Reading Books.

I Live Near A Remedial School. There Is A Sign That Says, Slow... Children. That Can't Be Good For Their Self Esteem. But Look Of Course On The Positive Side, They Can't Read It.

British Scientists Have Demonstrated That Cigarettes Can Harm Your Children. Fair Enough. Use An Ashtray!

I Have No Problems With Buying Tampons. I Am A Fairly Modern Man. But Apparently They're Not A "proper" Present. "happy Birthday, Mum!"