I Got A Waterbed, But My Husband

I Succeeded By Saying What Everyone Else Is Thinking.

Learn What Not To Expect. Irish Catholic They Get Sh**** Little Rings. Irish Women Get Crappy Rings. Baptist Get The Worst Because They Get The Rings Under Water. When It Comes Up, It's Garbage. Jewish, Big Rings. Episcopalian Big Rings. Italians-the Best, Because They Get Them Off Of Dead People, And Second Wives Get The Biggest Rings Of All.

I Have A Million Dollar Figure ... But It's All Loose Change.

The First Rule Of Survival Is: Make Your Own Rules. The Hell Anyone Thinks About The Way You're Acting; Listen Only To Yourself.

I Hate Housework! You Make The Beds, You Do The Dishes And Six Months Later You Have To Start All Over Again.