I Hate Housework! You Make The Beds,

It's So Long Since I've Had Sex I've Forgotten Who Ties Up Who.

The Glass Is Always Half Empty. All Good Comedians Are Manic-depressive.

How To Fool Yourself Into Feeling Younger: When You Go To Restaurants, Always Check A Coat And A Skateboard.

I Think Actual Death Will Be A Lot Easier Than Dying On Stage. Cause - You Know - If You Do [actual Death] Right, You Can Go Looking Good. Maybe With A Little Quip [like]: 'i Loved Everybody.' But Dying On Stage...oh, God!

Comedy Is A Very Rough Beat. It's No Holds Barred, As It Should Be.