It's So Long Since I've Had Sex

I've Learned From Doing My Own Show With Fox That People Are Not Your Partners If They're Signing The Checks. Whoever Signs Your Paycheck Is The Boss - No Matter What They Tell You.

But You Do Have To Learn, If You Want To Be A Satirist, You Can't Be Part Of The Party. Meaning, You Can't Go Horseback Riding With Jackie O In Central Park If You're Going To Make A Joke About Her That Night.

I Was The Last Girl In Larchmont, Ny To Get Married. My Mother Had A Sign Up: "last Girl Before Freeway."

Before We Make Love, My Husband Takes A Pain Killer.

My Love Life Is Like A Piece Of Swiss Cheese; Most Of It's Missing, And What's There Stinks.