It's So Long Since I've Had Sex

Forty For You, Sixty For Me. And Equal Partners We Will Be.

My Breasts Are So Low, Now I Can Have A Mammogram And A Pedicure At The Same Time.

Just Remember: Surviving Is The Best Revenge, No Matter What The Disaster Has Been.

My Face Has Been Tucked In More Times Than A Bedsheet At The Holiday Inn.

You Know You've Reached Middle Age When You're Cautioned To Slow Down By Your Doctor, Instead Of By The Police.