The Glass Is Always Half Empty. All

At My Funeral, I Want Meryl Streep Crying In Five Different Accents.

Life Goes By Fast. Enjoy It. Calm Down. It's All Funny.

Age - It's The One Mountain You Can't Overcome.

I Was Getting Dressed And A Peeping Tom Looked In The Window, Took A Look And Pulled Down The Shade.

A Woman Went To A Plastic Surgeon And Asked Him To Make Her Like Bo Derek. He Gave Her A Lobotomy.