I Guess, As They Say, I Never

I Was Born Imagining Myself With An Apron On, With Pies Cooling On The Window Sill And Babies Crying Upstairs. I Thought That All That Stuff Would Somehow Anchor Me To The Planet, That It Was The Weight I Needed To Keep From Just Flying Off Into Space.

All I Know Is That You Can Chop Up All The Onions And The Whatevers You Want And Put It On Top Of Caviar, But You Still Can't Disguise The Fact That You're Eating Fish Eggs. Ugh!

I Guess, As They Say, I Never Acquired A Taste For [caviar].

Eventually, Life Of The Party Is Just Like Any Other Job. I've Thought Of Myself That Way At Times, But It's Sort Of Like Holding Everybody Hostage. It Diminishes Everyone Else. And Ultimately, Your Friends Don't Require It Of You.

I Found Out When I Did The Oprah Winfrey Show That There Was A Cookie Jar Of Me. So She Gave It To Me. I Had No Idea Prior To That That It Even Existed.