I Had My Palm Read. I Wrote

Say, I Was On The Craig Kilbourne Show And The Next Day I Flew To Minneapolis. I Was At The Airport And A Guy Came Up. He Said, 'dude, I Saw You On Tv Last Night.' But He Did Not Say Whether Or Not He Thought I Was Good, He Just Confirmed That I Was On Television. So I Turned My Head Away From Him For About A Minute, Then I Turned It Back. I Said, 'dude, I Saw You At The Airport About A Minute Ago. And You Were Good.'

I Have An Underwater Camera Just In Case I Crash My Car Into A River, And At The Last Minute I See A Photo Opportunity Of A Fish That I Have Never Seen.

Why Is Cloud 9 So Amazing? What Is Wrong With Cloud 8? That Joke Came Off The Top Of My Head, And The Top Of My Head Ain't Funny!

I Like Kit-kat, Unless I'm With Four Or More People.

A Minibar Is A Machine That Makes Everything Expensive. When I Take Something Out Of The Minibar, I Always Fathom That I'll Go And Replace It Before They Check It Off, But They Make That Stuff Impossible To Replace. I Go To The Store And Ask, 'do You Have Coke In A Glass Harmonica ...do You Have Individually Wrapped Cashews'