I Have A Daughter Who I Love

If You Are Tuning In Just For The Show, You're Going To Be Sorely Disappointed.

When You're Picking A Basketball Team, You'll Take The Brother Over The Guy With The Yarmulke. Why? Because You're Playing The Odds.

If Women Built The Bridges Or Were Meant To Build The Bridges, Then They Would Have Done It.

When I Fart My Ass Makes A Trumpet Sound That Heralds The Arrival Of The Smell.

What We Used To Settle With Common Sense Or A Fist, We Settle With Hand Sanitizer And Lawyers.