I Have A Pacemaker In, But It

A Man Walks Into A Hospital Feeling Unwell And The Doctor Says: "sorry, You've Only Got Three Minutes To Live." The Man Said: "can You Do Something For Me?" "yes," He Said. "i'll Boil You An Egg."

I Just Want To Apologise For Being Late. I Was Flying Back From Spain And The Air Hostess Said: "we Are Two Hours Late Mr Carson." When I Asked Why, She Said: "the Pilot Has Heard A Funny Noise In The Engine That He Doesn't Like, So We Are Waiting On Another Pilot Who Can't Hear It."

A Man Walks Into A Pet Shop And Says: "give Me A Wasp." The Shopkeeper Replies: "we Don't Sell Wasps." He Says: "there's One In The Window."

An Englishman, An Irishman And A Scotsman Walk Into A Bar. The Barman Looks At Them And Says: "is This Some Kind Of A Joke?"

My Wife Went Into The Butchers And Said: "you've A Sheep's Head In Your Window." The Butcher Said: "that's A Mirror."