I Have An Ego Like Anybody Else,

There Was This Billy Goat At A Movie Studio Who Found And Ate A Can Of Film. When A Nanny Asked Him How He Liked It, He Said, "it Was All Right But I Liked The Book Better."

As You All Know By Now, This Is The 51st Annual Academy Awards. Two Hours Of Sparkling Entertainment Spread Out Over A Four-hour Show.

Democracy Is The Eagle On The Back Of A Dollar Bill, With 13 Arrows In One Claw, 13 Leaves On A Branch, 13 Tail Feathers, And 13 Stars Over Its Head - This Signifies That When The White Man Came To This Country, It Was Bad Luck For The Indians, Bad Luck For The Trees, Bad Luck For The Wildlife, And Lights Out For The American Eagle.

I Work Because I Enjoy What I'm Doing, And The Fact That I Make Money At It - Big Money - Is A Fine-and-dandy Side Fact.

Some Sad News From Australia... The Inventor Of The Boomerang Grenade Died Today.