I Have No Idea What I'm Going

I've Never Been Able To Tell Jokes. In The Beginning Of My Career I Did Impressions And Jokes Like Any Other Comedian, But I Was Never Very Successful Because I Did It Poorly. So I Started To Talk To The Audience And Started Talking About The Atmosphere Around Me And Started To Become Angry, Not In A Mean-spirited Way, But In A Fun Way - And My Attitude Developed From There.

I Was A Mother's Boy.

I Used To Play Golf. I Wanted To Be A Better Player, But After A While I Realized I'd Always Stink. And That's When I Really Started To Enjoy The Game.

I've Never Had A Writer, And I'm Proud Of That. Everything I've Per­formed Has Been From My Own Head.

I'm Not A Big One For Jokes. I Can't Tell A Joke, Believe It Or Not. If You Gave Me A Thousand Bucks And Said, "don, Get Up At A Party And Tell A Joke," I'm The Worst.