I've Never Had A Writer, And I'm

When You're 18, You're Just So Busy Being Scared And Having Fun - A Crazy Mixture - That You Never Thought Of Dying.

I Have No Idea What I'm Going To Say When I Stand Up To Give A Toast. But I Do Know That Anything I Say I Find Funny.

Every Night When I Go Out On Stage, There's Always One Nagging Fear In The Back Of My Mind. I'm Always Afraid That Somewhere Out There, There Is One Person In The Audience That I'm Not Going To Offend!

Everything I Do On Stage, I Made Up In Saloons. I Started Doing It In Front Of People, And That Became My Performance. I Never Had Writers.

I Was Sitting In The Toilet And I Was By Myself. I Was Tired Of Playing With The Roller, So I Said I'd Better Write A Book.