I Have No Interest In Art. Let

It Can Take A Few Months To Get A New 10 Minutes. Usually It Takes Like 10 Times Of Repeatedly Trying Different Variations Of A Joke Until I Land On One I Think Is Really Good.

I Spend So Much Time On The Internet...i Feel Like I'm A Million Pages Into The Worst Book Ever, And I'm Never Going To Stop Reading.

With Stand-up, It's More Interesting To Hear About People's Failures Than Their Successes.

I Have An Amazing Metabolism. I'm Sure That'll Be Gone One Day. But I Like To Exercise, Too, So I Don't Think I'll Ever Get Really Fat.

I Have Never Taken The High Road, But I Tell Other People To 'cause Then There's More Room For Me On The Low Road.