I Have So Many Liver Spots, I

Think Of Me As A Sex Symbol For The Men Who Don't Give A Damn.

I Finally Had A Ship Tattooed To My Chest. I Wanted Something On It.

Cleaning Your House While Your Kids Are Still Growing Up Is Like Shoveling The Walk Before It Stops Snowing.

I Don't Like To Cook. I Can Make A Tv Dinner Taste Like Radio.

I'd Love To Slit My Mother-in-law's Corsets And Watch Her Spread To Death.