I Have So Many Liver Spots, I

The Doctor Looked My Body Over. I Said: Is There Any Hope? He Said: Yes. Reincarnation.

My Timing Is So Precise, A Heckler Would Have To Make An Appointment Just To Get A Word In.

The Constants All Through The Centuries Will Be The Same; Wine, Women And Song. Other Than That, Life Will Be Very Different Technologically. In The Year 3000 The Universe Will Be Expanding As It Will Forever, Infinitely. We Will Probe Outer Space But Never Find Life As Evolutionized As Ours. We Were Not Created By A Deity. We Created The Deity In Our Image. Life Began On This Planet When The First Amoeba Split. Mankind Will Still Be Seeking God, Not Accepting That God Is A Spirit; Can't See It, Touch It, Only Feel It. It's Called Love.

When I Go To Bed At Night, I've Got So Much Grease On My Body I Wear Snow Chains To Hold Up My Gown.

Remarrying A Husband You've Divorced Is Like Having Your Appendix Put Back In.