When I Go To Bed At Night,

My Own Laugh Is The Real Thing And I've Had It All My Life.

We Spend The First Twelve Months Of Our Children's Lives Teaching Them To Walk And Talk And The Next Twelve Telling Them To Sit Down And Shut Up.

To Get A Roaster Clean, Send Something Like Baked Apples In It To A Neighbor. Neighbors Always Return Pans Spotless, And You Won't Have To Use A Blow Torch On It Like You Usually Do.

My Recipe For Dealing With Anger And Frustration: Set The Kitchen Timer For Twenty Minutes, Cry, Rant, And Rave, And At The Sound Of The Bell, Simmer Down And Go About Business As Usual.

Your Husband Is Lazy If Coffee Doesn't Keep Him Awake - Even When It's Hot And Being Spilled On Him.