I Have This Real Moron Thing I

Hard Work Is A Misleading Term. Physical Effort & Long Hours Do Not Constitute Hard Work. Hard Work Is When Someone Pays You To Do Something You'd Rather Not Be Doing. Anytime You'd Rather Be Doing Something Other Than The Thing You're Doing...you're Doing Hard Work.

When I First Heard The Song Don't Worry - Be Happy I Realized It Was Exactly The Kind Of Mindless Philosophy That Americans Would Respond To. It Would Make A Great National Anthem Along With Me First.

I Was Never A Pipe Or Bong Man. That's California Stuff. I Was An Eastern Roller.

With Humans It's Abortion, But With Chickens It's An Omelet.

The Child Molester Skipped Breakfast, But Said He'd Grab A Little Something On The Way To Work.