I Have This Terrific Make-up Man. But

I've Always Been In The Right Place And Time. Of Course, I Steered Myself There.

Out Here In The Pacific, They Have Typhoons And Hurricanes That Blow Over 200 Miles An Hour. We Have Tornadoes And Hurricanes Back Home, But I Don't Worry About Them. The Mortgage On My House Is So Heavy That Nothing Could Budge It.

I Never Kick My Ball In The Rough Or Improve My Lie In A Sand Trap. For That I Have A Caddie.

I Have Performed For 12 Presidents And Entertained Only Six.

After The 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan Wanted To Add The U.s. Volleyball Team To His Cabinet. He Figured If They Can't Shove His Programs Down Congress' Throat, Nobody Can.