I Just Don't Let That Mentality Be

The First Time I Did Stand-up Was The Summer I Was 17.

I Am 39 Years Old, And I Still Wake Up Every Morning Really Excited I Don't Have To Go To School.

I Am Diagnosed With Not Having Enough Insanely-addictive Drugs Coursing Through My Body.

I Became Known For Surprising Audiences. Except Now, If I Surprise Them Every Time, They Expect That.

If I Have Kids, I'll Adopt.