I Just Found Out That I Have

I Love Having An Open Seat Next To Me On The Train. What's Even Better Is When My Seat Is Open Too Because I Just Stayed Home.

You Can Make A Very Heavy And Kind Of Dangerous 3-way Shot Glass Out Of A Bowling Ball.

Sometimes I Use My Jokes As Building Blocks For Larger Bits. I Like To Draw And Play Music, So Sometimes I Do Those Things Along With The Jokes.

I Think Hair Gel Was Invented To Make It Easier To Identify Assholes From A Distance.

I Didn't Play Music, Nobody In My Family Had An Instrument Or Played Music, We Didn't Even Have Any Books At My House. I Think About It And I'm Like, I Don't Know How I Climbed Out Of There.