I Knew A Girl So Ugly, They

I Recently Had Double-bypass Surgery. As They Wheel You In, The Doctor Always Gives You A Last Look. You Know That Look. That Look Of Confidence To Make You Feel Good. I Always Say To Every Doctor, If I Don't Make It, I'll Never Know It.

When We Got Married My Wife Told Me I Was One In A Million. I Found Out She Was Right.

I Went To Look For A Used Car And Found My Wife's Dress In The Back Seat.

My Wife Isn't Very Bright. The Other Day She Was At The Store, And Just As She Was Heading For Our Car, Someone Stole It! I Said, "did You See The Guy That Did It?" She Said, "no, But I Got The License Plate."

I Knew A Girl So Ugly, They Use Her In Prisons To Cure Sex Offenders.