I Knew The President Would Run For

You Know You're Getting Old When The Candles Cost More Than The Cake.

I Like To Play In The Low 70's. If It Gets Any Hotter Than That I'll Stay In The Bar!

I Can't Understand What's Holding Up Our Missile Program. It's The First Time The Government Ever Had Trouble Making The Taxpayers' Money Go Up In Smoke.

Bigamy Is The Only Crime Where Two Rites Make A Wrong.

You Could Buy My Book In A Paperback Edition For A Dollar, And In Hard Covers For $3.50. And For Fifty Cents Extra, I Come Around To Your House Personally And Wet Your Finger While You're Turning The Pages.