I Know My Name Will Always Be

My Lad Chewed And Swallowed A Dictionary. We Gave Him Epsom Salts - But We Can't Get A Word Out Of Him.

My Mother-in-law Fell Down A Wishing Well. I Was Amazed; I Never Knew They Worked.

I Saw Six Men Kicking And Punching The Mother-in-law. My Neighbour Said 'are You Going To Help?' I Said 'no, Six Should Be Enough.'

Despite The Fact That Feminists Say They're Not Getting A Fair Deal, Women Are Still Very Powerful.

Mind You, I've Always Been Musical... Mother Used To Sit Me On Her Knee And I'd Whisper, 'mummy, Mummy, Sing Me A Lullaby Do,' And She'd Say: 'certainly My Angel, My Wee Bundle Of Happiness, Hold My Beer While I Fetch Me Banjo.'