I Know The Bible Isn't Real Because

I'm Pretty Sure Africa Was Made Up By The Media To Scare People. I Mean, I've Never Seen It. Have You? I Didn't Think So.

It's A Give And Take Relationship With My Fans. They Give Me Love And Adoration, And I Take It From Them.

People Still Make New Year's Resolutions? Wow. I Figured Those Were Pointless Once I Perfected Myself By Directing, Writing, And Acting In Garden State. I Guess It Makes Sense, Though. It Gives People A Chance To Hope That They Can Become As Great As Me Someday.

My Favorite Meal? It Has To Be Furburgers Everyday In The Morning.

The Best Way To Travel Abroad Is To Live With The Locals.