I Like Characters That Are Fragile And

I Love Playing A Curmudgeon. I Just Love Playing A Sour Guy.

When You're Doing Standup You're Kind Of Doing, "hey. I Thought Of This. This May Be Funny.

Hookers Don't Like To Snuggle.

I'm The Most Mellow Person Offstage. I Think It's Just, Going Onstage Lets Me Get Out Some Frustration That I'm Too Shy To Do In Real Life. Instead Of Doing It In Private, I'd Rather Do It In Front Of 1,000 People Who've Paid $25 To See Me Lose My Mind.

Fat Jokes To Me Are Always, Always Hilarious, As Long As They're Done Towards Yourself.