I Like Coffee Because It Gives Me

When A Country Wants Television More Than They Want Clean Water, They've Lost Their Grip.

Republicans Have Nothing But Bad Ideas And Democrats Have No Ideas.

There Should Be A Law That You Can't Shut Down The Government - That You Don't Have That Power.

Mother Teresa Had A Mustache. Hitler Had A Mustache. Mother Teresa Is Hitler.

I Have No Religion Because I Was Born And Raised Jewish. And On The First Night Of Hanukkah, My Parents, When I Was Very Young, Gave Me A Top To Play With. They Called It A Dreidel. I Knew It Was A Top. And As I Looked At That Top, I Said, 'you Know. I Don't Think I'm Gonna Be Jewish For Very Long.