I Like Long Walks, Especially When They

The Average Girl Would Rather Have Beauty Than Brains Because She Knows The Average Man Can See Much Better Than He Can Think- Ladies' Home Journali'd Rather Have Two Girls At Seventeen Than One At Thirty-four

Television Is A Triumph Of Equipment Over People, And The Minds That Control It Are So Small That You Could Put Them In A Gnat's Navel With Room Left Over For Two Caraway Seeds And An Agent's Heart.

I Have Just Returned From Boston. It Is The Only Thing To Do If You Find Yourself Up There.

I'm A Little Hoarse Tonight. I've Been Living In Chicago For The Past Two Months, And You Know How It Is, Yelling For Help On The Way Home Every Night. Things Are So Tough In Chicago That At Easter Time, For Bunnies The Little Kids Use Porcupines.

A Celebrity Is A Person Who Works Hard All Of Their Life To Become Well Known, And Then Wears Dark Glasses To Avoid Being Recognized.