I Love Doubleheaders. That Way I Get

The Only Angels In Los Angeles Are In Heaven, And They're Looking Down On The Dodgers.

The Gym Teacher's Name Was Mr. Caruso. Mr. Caruso Did Not Speak English. He Spoke 'gym.' One Day I Was Playing Basketball And Mr. Caruso Told Me I Would Have To Get An Athletic Supporter. He Didn't Express Himself Exactly That Way, Though. He Said, 'hey, You, One Day You're Gonna Go Up For A Rebound And The Family Jewels Aren't Gonna Go With Ya.' I Had No Idea What He Was Talking About. Next Day I Showed Up For Practice Without My Watch And My Mezuzah. He Said, 'did Ya Take Care Of The Family Jewels?' I Said, 'i Left 'em In My Locker.' Took Us A Half Hour To Revive Mr. Caruso.

Everybody Makes Mistakes, That's Why They Put Erasers On Pencils

You Can Have The Best Team In Baseball, And If Nobody Goes Through The Turnstiles, You've Got To Shut The Doors Down.

If You Don't Root For The Dodgers, You Might Not Get Into Heaven.