I Love Florida. I Love The Beach.

Anger Punishes The Bearer's Heart. Who Remains Angry Suffers Most. For Many, The Search For Perfection Virtually Guarantees It Will Be Found, And Disregarded In Order To Continue The Search. Some Mornings It Just Doesn't Seem Worth It To Gnaw Through The Leather Straps.

I've Always Kind Of Pushed The Envelope In Terms Of Trying To Get Away With Things No One Else Was Going Near. I Always Thought Of Myself Like A Mouse Trying To Get Cheese That No One Else Could Get Without Getting Their Tail Snipped Off.

My Girlfriend Said, Emo, I'm Seeing Another Man. I Said, Well, Try Rubbing Your Eyes Or Something.

I Tried Body Surfing Once, But How Often Do You Find A Corpse?

Race Is Still Somewhat Of A Taboo In Comedy. But If You're A Minority, Then You Can Make Fun Of Your Own Minority. And That's A Nice Service That Many Of Them Provide.