I Tried Body Surfing Once, But How

You Know What I Hate? Indian Givers... No, I Take That Back.

A Friend Of Mine Gave Me A Philip Glass Record. I Listened To It For Five Hours Before I Realized It Had A Scratch On It.

He Taught Me Never To Smile, Which Helps Me When I Visit Disaster Sites.

If You Can Make Just One Person Laugh, Then You Are Already Doing Better Than Tony Danza.

Back In High School, My Buddies Tried To Put The Make On Anything That Moved. I Told Them, Why Limit Yourselves?