I Thought I Was Raptured Up Into

When Deciding Between Two Competing Theories, Always Go With The One That Doesn't Involve A Magic Spell.

Interviewers Always Used To Ask Me About My Pageboy Haircut, And It Drove Me Nuts: It Almost Made Me Suspect That There Was Something Strange About It. So I Cut Off My Pageboy.

Pentiums Melt In Your Pc, Not In Your Hand.

I Got A Job At An Amusement Park. I Like To Make The Rides More Terrifying By Throwing A Couple Of Screws Onto The Seats.

I Asked God For A Bike, But I Know God Doesn't Work That Way. So I Stole A Bike And Asked For Forgiveness.