I Thought I Was Raptured Up Into

I Think Fur Looks Better On An Animal Than On A Human Being. So I Dress My Dog In A Mink Teddy.

My Jokes Are In My Head And I Have A Duplicate Copy Of My Jokes In A Lot Of British Comics' Heads, Where They Are Safe.

I've Learned That You Can't Make Someone Love You. All You Can Do Is Stalk Them And Hope They'll Panic And Give In.

Computers Aren't Intelligent, They Only Think They Are.

Probably The Toughest Time In Anyone's Life Is When You Have To Murder A Loved One Because They're The Devil.