I Love The Holiday Season, Almost As

At First, I Didn't Really Care If Global Warming Existed. But Then I Realized It Means That Less Bums Would Freeze To Death In The Winter

I Always Wanted To Direct Movies. That's What I Set Out To Do. When I Was A Little Kid I Just Dreamed Of Making Movies, And I Went To Film School [at Northwestern University].

I Always Encourage Over-tipping If You Can Afford It Because Share The Wealth.

First I Took A Crap On The Hooker's Chest, Then I Told Her I'd Pay Her A Thousand Dollars To Eat It. She Was Addicted To Crack, So Of Course She Did It. It Was So Gross, Though, It Made Her Throw Up, So I Said I'd Pay Her Another Thousand To Lick All That Up, Too. She Started To, But For Some Reason She Started Crying As She Was Doing It, Saying, 'i Went To College! I Have A Degree!' Oh Man, It Was Hilarious. I Don't Know If It Was Technically Sex Because I Just Beat Off On Her Face, But Definitely One Of My Most Intense Orgasms.

I'm Sure Lots Of Actors And Creative People Go Through This, Where You Have Some Weeks Where It's All Going According To Plan And Some Weeks Where You're Super Frustrated.