I'm A Vulgar Lounge Entertainer, I Don't

Technically My Dog's Naked Most Of The Time. Except Halloween, When I Dress Him Up As Liza Minelli.

The New Pope, Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, Is Now Pope Francis The 1st. Francis Was Not His First Choice For A Name. But The Vatican Wisely Talked Him Out Of Pope Boo Boo.

Remember The Band, Flock Of Seagulls? They Had Their Van Stolen. I Was Like, They Still Have A Van?

I Always Wanted To Make Motion Pictures, Ever Since I Was A Wee Boy, And I Was 32, And Time Was Marching On. I Met A Guy Who Said, 'come Out To Hollywood For 10 Days, And I'll Get You A Deal.' So I Figured, 'ok, 10 Days.' On The 10th Day, He Got Me A Development Deal With Disney, Not For A Lot Of Money, But It Allowed Me To Make The Move.

The U.s. Senate Is Considering A Bill That Would Tax Botox. When Botox Users Heard This, They Were Horrified. Well, I Think They Were Horrified. It's Difficult To Tell.