I'm Afraid Of Sharks - But Only

I Bought A Clock, But The Big Hand Broke Off Of It... So I Just Added "ish" To Every Number.

History, Like Wallpaper, Repeats Itself And Can Also Make A Room Look Old-fashioned.

A Straw Enables You To Drink Without Using Your Wrist. A Straw Is Your Friend - Until You Lose Eye Contact With The Straw. Then It Will Betray You And Make You Look Like An Idiot.

Someday I Will Tell My Grandchildren That I Lived In The Era When Ok Was Abbreviated To K.

It's Weird To Make A Decision Where Everyone In Your Life Disapproves, Pretty Vocally And Directly. They Said, "you've Got One Year Left. Just Do It." I Had A Full Scholarship So I Didn't Have To Pay For It. They Asked, "why Don't You Just Get The Degree So You Can Have It?" And I Said, "you Don't Understand. I Was Trying To Figure Out What I Wanted To Do And Now I Know. I Have The Answer And It's Dumb To Waste Any More Time."