I'm From Such An Old Family, It's

It's A Good Thing That Beauty Is Only Skin Deep, Or I'd Be Rotten To The Core.

My Idea Of Exercise Is A Good Brisk Sit.

My Cooking Is So Bad My Kids Thought Thanksgiving Was To Commemorate Pearl Harbor.

How Do You Know They're Growing Up? Well, The Bite Marks Are Higher.

Whatever You May Look Like, Marry A Man Your Own Age - As Your Beauty Fades, So Will His Eyesight.