I'm Just A Person Trapped Inside A

Real Comedy Can't Be Learned; It Comes From A Need For Justice. The Best Who Stand Up, Stand Up For Something.

When I Played The Sahara Hotel In Las Vegas On New Year's Eve, I Got To Bring Wiley, My 85-pound Black Lab. He's Responsible For My Favorite New Year's Memory Of All: At The End Of The Show, He Ran Onstage And Then Out Across All The Tables In The Showroom, Sending Champagne Glasses And Gamblers Flying.

A Study Last Year Showed That The Page You Turn To First In The Newspaper Can Be A Predictor Of How Long You Will Live. No Surprise, Turning First To The Comics Pages Prolongs Your Life.

When The Sun Comes Up, I Have Morals Again.

I'd Much Rather See Richard Pryor Or Jackie Mason In A Theater Than In A Club.