I'm No Cook. When I Want Lemon

You Have To Do More Than Just Kill Time Or Time Will Quickly Kill You.

In Life The Only Thing That You Can Expect Is The Unexpected; The Only Surprise Is A Day That Has None.

Comedy Exists To Laugh At Things That Aren't Laughable. But Isn't It? That's What Separates Us From The Animals. We Laugh.

My Parents Hated Me. All I Ever Heard Was, "why Can't You Be Like Your Cousin Shelia? Why Can't You Be Like Your Cousin Shelia?" Shelia Had Died At Birth.

I Don't Think There'd Be A Tina Fey Now If I Hadn't Tried To Look Good In The Beginning.