I'm Not A Foodie; I'm An Eatie.

Nursery Schools And Bars At 2 A.m. Are The Only Places Where It Is Completely Normal If Someone Just Spontaneously Throws Up On The Floor...and Just Like A Toddler, The Bar Patron Wakes Up The Next Day Not Remembering Or Caring How They Behaved.

I'm An Eccentric, Silly, Observational Guy, But I'm Not Gonna Frighten Off Social Conservatives.

I Didn't Choose To Be The Guy Who Talks About The Mundane - It's Just Who I Am And It's What Kind Of Works For Me.

The Pearly Gates. Am I The Only One Who Finds It Odd That Heaven Has Gates? What Kind Of Neighborhood Is Heaven In?

I Married A Woman Who Loves To Camp, And I Am What You Would Call "indoorsy"... My Wife Always Brings Up, "camping's A Tradition In My Family." Hey, It Was A Tradition In Everyone's Family 'til We Came Up With The House.