I'm Not Afraid To Fail. Sometimes When

I'm Not A Star, And I Don't Want To Be A Star. Stars Fall. I'm An Ordinary Guy With An Extraordinary Job.

I Learned Hard Lessons In Life; I Had To Because I Had So Much Happen: My Mother Died My Sophomore Year In High School. The Next Year, Same Day, My Brother Dropped Dead. Two Years After That, I Got Married Because My Girlfriend Got Pregnant. The Year After My Wedding, My Father - Who I Had Only Recently Met - Died.

I Get Facials. I Get A Manicure And Pedicure Every Week. I Get My Hair Cut, And I Oil Myself Down From Head To Toe. I Got That From My Brother. I Was So Impressed With How High Maintenance He Was. When He Left The Room, You Could Still Smell Him For An Hour.

I Always Wanted To Scuba Dive. I Used To Scuba Dive Undercover Like Black Aquaman.

I Was In Love With A Lot Of People, Because I Was A Student Of The Game Of Comedy - Carol Burnett, Jack Benny, Red Skelton, Jackie Gleason, Don Rickles, Red Foxx, Moms Mabley - Who Gets No Credit, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, George Kirby. I Loved Them All, And I Used To Just Take A Page Out Of All Of Them.