I'm Not Freakishly Short. I Had, On

I'm Not The Guy With The Enormous Comedy Nose Or The Big Feet Or The Bad Posture Or The Whatever; A Physical Comic Has Certain Things.

I Did Standup While Still Working For Johnny Carson In The Mid-'60s, Thus Gaining The Advantage Of At Least Getting Laughs From Him About How I Hadn't The Night Before.

If You Have A Relative Who's Lost Interest In Everything And Doesn't Get Out Of Bed, Who Doesn't Care For Things They Used To, Can't Imagine Anything That Would Give Them Any Pleasure, Don't Fool Around With It; Get Therapy, Get Help, Get Medication If That's Right For You, Or Talk Therapy, Or Something.

Comedians Are Sometimes Resentful Of Their Writers. Probably Because It's Hard For Giant Egos To Admit You Need Anyone But Yourself To Be What You Are.

It Was At A Vividly Bad Time In Norman Mailer's Life That I Met Him, And A Sort Of Water-treading Time In Mine. He Had Stabbed His Wife, And I Was A Copy Boy At Time Magazine.