I'm Not Going To Lie To You

I Found A Way For Her To Fall Asleep, Paris Hilton, Talk To Herself.

Don't Do Drugs To Be Cool, Do 'em Because You Hate Yourself.

I Have A Bad Gambling Problem. You're Not In Show Business For 12 Years And Dress Like This Without A Bad Gambling Problem.

'course The World Of Sports Takes Itself Way Too Serious. Sports Writers Are All High And Mighty.

When Political Correctness First Started Coming Around, It Ruined Andrew Dice Clay And Eddie Murphy's Stand-up Career. Sam Kinison Died At Just The Right Time, 'cause No One Was Going To Tolerate What He Was Saying Anymore Either.