I'm Not Smart Enough To Write About

Sometimes It Works Out Well, And Certain Household Responsibilities Fall Naturally To Those Who Like Doing Them. For Example, My Wife Likes To Pack Suitcases, I Like To Unpack Them. My Wife Likes To Buy Groceries, I Like To Put Them Away. I Do. I Like The Handling And Discovering, And The Location Assignments. Cans - Over There. Fruit - Over There. Bananas - Not So Fast. You Go Over Here. When You Learn Not To Go Bad So Quickly, Then You Can Stay With The Rest Of Your Friends.

A New Child In The House Is A Huge Tourist Attraction. It's Like Disneyland, Except There The Lines Are Longer And No One Brings Casseroles.

It's Not Like Some Movies Where You're Following A Bunch Of Different Stories You Can Cut Around. There Was Nowhere To Cut To. It's These Guys. We're Not Cutting Back To Anybody Else

When My Son Said, "i Can't Stop Thinking About Girls," I Said, "that's Not Gonna Stop. Congratulations. You're In The Club. From Now Until The Day You Die, One Way Or Another You'll Be Thinking About Girls.

So Where Did These Cravings Come From? I Concluded It's The Baby Ordering In. Prenatal Takeout. Even Without Ever Being In A Restaurant, Fetuses Develop Remarkably Discerning Palates, And They Are Not Shy About Demanding What They Want. If They Get A Hankering, They Just Pick Up The Umbilical Cord And Call. 'you Know What Would Taste Good Right Now? A Cheeseburger, Large Fries, And A Vanilla Shake. And If You Could, Hurry It Up, Because I'm Supposed To Grow A Lung In A Half Hour.'