I'm On A Diet As My Skin

Babies On Television Never Spit Up On The Ultrasuede.

If Life Is A Bowl Of Cherries, What Am I Doing In The Pits?

The Ultimate In Longevity Is The Christmas Fruitcake. It Is A Cake Made During The Holidays With Fruits That Make It Heavier Than The Stove It Is Cooked In.

Thanksgiving Dinners Take Eighteen Hours To Prepare. They Are Consumed In Twelve Minutes. Half-times Take Twelve Minutes. This Is Not Coincidence.

No One Ever Died From Sleeping In An Unmade Bed.