I'm So Excited-i Think Today I'm Going

Pale, Nervous Girls With Black-rimmed Glasses And Blunt-cut Hair Lolled Around On Sofas, Riffling Penguin Classics Provocatively. [...] But It Wasn’t Just Intellectual Experiences—they Were Peddling Emotional Ones, Too. For Fifty Bucks, I Learned, You Could “relate Without Getting Close.” For A Hundred, A Girl Would Lend You Her Bartok Records, Have Dinner, And Then Let You Watch While She Had An Anxiety Attack.

Twenty-one Years Ago, When I First Heard Mia Farrow Had Accused Me Of Child Molestation, I Found The Idea So Ludicrous I Didn't Give It A Second Thought. We Were Involved In A Terribly Acrimonious Breakup, With Great Enmity Between Us And A Custody Battle Slowly Gathering Energy. The Self-serving Transparency Of Her Malevolence Seemed So Obvious I Didn't Even Hire A Lawyer To Defend Myself. It Was My Show Business Attorney Who Told Me She Was Bringing The Accusation To The Police And I Would Need A Criminal Lawyer.

Why Does Man Kill? He Kills For Food. And Not Only Food: Frequently There Must Be A Beverage.

When You Start Putting A Higher Value On Works Of Art Than People, You’re Forfeiting Your Humanity.

Bisexuality Doubles Your Chances Of A Date On A Saturday Night. I Believe That Sex Is A Beautiful Thing Between Two People. Between Five, It's Fantastic. If There Is Reincarnation, I'd Like To Come Back As Warren Beatty's Fingertips. I'm Such A Good Lover Because I Practice A Lot On My Own. My Love Life Is Terrible. The Last Time I Was Inside A Woman Was When I Visited The Statue Of Liberty. Sex Without Love Is An Empty Experience, But As Empty Experiences Go It's A Pretty Good One.