I'm So Excited-i Think Today I'm Going

I'm Not Saying I Didn't Enjoy Myself, But I Didn't.

People Always Tease Me. They Say, Look At You, You Went For So Much Psychoanalysis And You're So Neurotic, You Wind Up Marrying A Girl So Much Younger Than You.

When You Are Dead, It Is Hard To Find The Light Switch.

My Wife Is Immature. Whenever I Take A Bath, She Sinks My Boats.

Since I Was A Kid, I Could Make Up Stories, I Could Make Up Funny Jokes And I Could Always Do It. When I'm Walking Down The Street Or Having Dinner, Ideas Will Hit Me, And I Write Them Down On Matchbooks Or Napkins And Throw Them In The Draw.